04-27-16: Boundaries

8:04am
I woke up early and am having a difficult time sleeping but I can't go back to bed because I'm giving Mona a ride to Wellness City and then afterwards we are going to see The Jungle Book at the Fox Cineplex.

I'm listening to Clint Black. I love the country music from the 80's and 90's. I found a great country station that plays the "oldies" all the time. It's at the top of the dial and doesn't have a very strong signal here in Banning, but most times I can pick it up. Country music helped me get through my divorce. I think country music helps a lot of people which is why it's so popular. The songs are usually about relationships, faith and love or adversity.

10:31pm
The Jungle Book was a very cute movie with quite a few  thrill seeking moments. The CGI graphics were amazing. For those of you fond of the original animated movie you will be happy to know that this movie followed very closely. The most interesting thing was that when the songs began to play you could hear a theater full of adults singing along. There were only a handful of tiny tots at the 12:30 showing and I was amazed to say that they were quite well behaved and were very engrossed in the show. This movie obviously charms the old and young alike.

Today in our Coming Out of the Fog class we learned about boundaries in relationships and how important it is for us to have them and enforce them. Boundaries are there for the good of both parties. Coming from a Catholic upbringing I learned self-love is the same as selfishness and that it is a bad thing to do.  I found this blog very informative about the difference between two and it's definitely worth your time to read. The Psychology of Selfishness. What I learned today in class is conveyed in this saying below:

 

While Christ asked us to turn the other cheek He did not mean that we should allow people to walk all over us. We are to love others as we love ourselves. I have understood this to mean that healthy boundaries are a vital part of being assertive and taking care of ourselves. If we do not love ourselves we will never be able to extend a healthy love to others.

I also learned about how we make judgments about people at a first glance - grouping them into categories where they don't actually belong. In one of my favorite movies, Gettysburg Sgt. Buster Kilrain is having a conversation with Col. Chamberlain about just this thing. I found this "speech" very profound.

Christ said we are not to judge. How often have I found myself doing just that when I should not. I have learned in this class that (and from the movie) that we are to step outside our comfort zone and give people the benefit of the doubt. We are to show kindness and love first and if those things are returned then we know that it is a person of equal depth and compassion then they are safe...but if they do not return those things we should give them a wide berth but pray for them all the same. But as the saying above conveys, We are not called to be doormats." Christ never asked that of us. We are to practice self-love, NOT selfishness. They are very different. As Christians and human beings we should take time to educate ourselves on the difference between the two so that we can live more enriched lives and share our love with others as well as loving ourselves.